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Starting to Thaw
2005-03-12, 10:35 a.m.

I was pondering most of yesterday rather witty and urbane topics with witty and urbane comments so I could post an entry that was the opposite of suck, but it all went out the window after 8pm because I�d been standing outside a grocery store selling Ghoul Scout cookies watching the temperature drop to well below freezing on the ginormous bank thermometer across the parking lot and my neurons were fully hypothermic. So were my toes. So still is my ability to use punctuation and avoid rampant snowballing run-on sentences. In a word, it was and is farking cold out there, people. It was difficult enough, choosing between hypothermic fund raising and we-will-be-a-po-troop flaming cookie warmth. If not for the consummate goodness that is Double Dutch* Ghoul Scout cookies, there would have been a mega cookie bonfire on the F00d C*ty sidewalk.

I was looking forward to ambushing some yard sales this morning, but instead I must haul Daughter�s sleepy carcass to sell more cookies outside Megabuster for four hours. At least it�s warmer. However, the warm front blowing in has heralded itself with 30mph wind gusts. I see flying cookies in the very near future.

Other than trying to creatively off myself by freezing to death during a cookie sale, about the most exciting thing I did yesterday was get gas in the car. It took all of our bank account, property rights to our firstborn, and my right kidney, but I managed to afford to fill the tank. Hopefully gas prices will fall soon, because I�m almost out of semi-vital organs and children to sell.

The next most exciting thing from yesterday was picking up a sniffling sneezing coughing aching stuffy headed almost feverish so-very-wishing-he-could-rest Hubby from the airport and depositing him straight at work. If it can be caught, it will circulate courtesy of regurgitated plane air and Hubby will catch it in spades. It�s his penance for enjoying the $50-a-head dinners on the company tab, calling me in the midst of them with glee and ruining any chance I had of enjoying my own cardboard-flavored Weighty Watching frozen dinners. Still, I�m being a nice wifey today. He got to sleep in.

*****************************

Dumbass bumper sticker of the day: I SLOW FOR MANATEES.

How very noble of you. However, should a manatee somehow launch itself from Floridian waters straight onto a small Tennessee highway, shouldn�t you do more than simply ride your brakes?

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