Scrapin' Cabinets, Inside And Out
2004-09-05, 3:06 p.m.

Sunday's fortune:

Stop searching forever - happiness is just next to you.

Lessee, what's next to me? On one side, accessories to the vacuum cleaner and the litter box. Nope. Checking other side...life jackets fresh in from eBay for the canoe, and, yes, THE CHECKBOOK. The key to all happiness. Eureka! Must. Go. Shopping. After all, how can I be overdrawn, I still have checks left?

A-shopping I shall go afterwhile, in the pursuit of cheap eats. We are getting down to where all that's in the fridge are condiments and leftovers that died 2 weeks ago. There are a few items to scrape out of the nearly bare cabinets, but there's only so many cans of green beans one can eat in a row. I'm going to attempt to use coupons once again. Tried before, but as I was so scatterbrained I forgot most of them until long after checkout. Yeah, THAT did a lot of good. I am also going to venture into the land of weekly menus. Every organized person I know (well, both of them) use menus. Their families are fed well for pennies. I'll give it a shot.

Our grocery bill is usually enormous because of all the convenience foods. I am not that great a cook. If I am not hungry, I have no interest in food. Once I am hungry, I want my meal within milliseconds. Daughter is flexible and happily chows down on whatever has been nuked, but Son is a different story. Part of his autism is a complete inflexibility in the foods he will eat, so I end up making something separate for him. Hubby is generally home long after dinnertime and just grabs something like a bowl of cereal. Lunch is the biggest meal in our family...the kids eat in the school cafeteria (which is pretty darn good), Hubby eats out (often courtesy of work), and I zap a Weight Watchers frozen dinner. Turkey cutlets again, yay.

Wed. nights will be easy until Spring, as the activities and dinner at church start this week. For $15 the whole family eats like starving hogs from a catered buffet. Hey, Presbyterians do it right. Wish they did this every night!

Then, there's tailoring things to The Diet. Hubby and I are back on the South Beach Diet wagon, which since this past Spring has whittled 20 lbs of flab from my weary bod. Only 30+ more to go. The groceries that correspond to the diet aren't typically quick and easy fare, unless you count salads. Salads are great, but I get a hankerin' for a side of beef on occasion. Why aren't there microwaveable steaks that taste like they're hot off the grill? If someone would develop that, I would be their salivating slave.

Diet food isn't all that cheap, either. I could spend $8 for a package of chicken breasts, or $1.79 for a giant can of Chef Boyardee. Hmmmmmm. Do the math. Not to mention that chicken has to be thoroughly cooked over a rather long period of time, versus the time to open a can of ravioli and slide it in the microwave for 30 seconds. You get the picture.

Menu planning isn't going to be easy. I can be fat and cheap, or skinnier and completely flat-ass busted. Dang. Why can't I just win the lottery, have tons of liposuction, and a personal chef? See? No more worries!

Of course you know, the day they draw our standard lottery numbers will be the week Hubby forgets to buy a ticket. I'd better learn to enjoy cooking.

Before I can venture out, I have to do some more work on the cabinet. I found the way to keep my skin from sizzling in the droplet shower of paint stripper: plastic wrap. Don't laugh. It's waaaaay too hot to put on something with long sleeves, and only part of my arms and legs were assaulted. I wrapped my lower legs and my lower right arm with plastic wrap, sprayed down the cabinet, and it worked! I'm tippy-typing on here while awaiting the chemicals to do their job, then it's back out in the heat to scrape, with my arm and legs wrapped like twinkies and my feet cementing into yesterday's paint scrapings on the plastic drop cloth. When this cabinet is finished, there will be a party. The party might be just me with a six-pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade, but a party it shall be nonetheless. Come if you want, BYOB, and I dare you to get a mark on that piece of furniture. I'd have to kill you.

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