Driving Miss Sally (Crazy)
2004-09-30, 7:28 p.m.

OK.
My mother is lost.
I-40 is having horrible traffic snarls since part of the roadway collapsed due to hurricane-induced rains and floodwaters. We gave her directions how to take Highway 25 around it and get back on I-40 at Newport, safely around all the destruction. Eezy breezy, we�ve driven it a number of times. It�s a pretty drive, nice road, very straightforward, and you aren�t sweating it out being sandwiched between a rock wall and a speeding freight truck. Sooooooooooooo...

HOW did she MANAGE to GET OFF A STRAIGHT ROAD onto ANOTHER HIGHWAY? She called us, completely discombobulated, having veered off the proper highway and overshot her destination. *sigh* She called us about 5 times, or rather S.O. did the calling. I don�t think he had his hearing aids in. I was screaming, hollering, YELLING into the phone, but they couldn�t hear me. I could hear every word they said, however, which went something first like "HELLO? HELLO?" and then a ticked-off �Well are we supposed to go there? I have no idea where we are. ::::::mutter::::::::grumble::::::shouldhavestayedonI-40::::::::mutter::::::::�

At long last we made a decent cell connection, or perhaps S.O. popped in the hearing aids. Hubby, atlas in hand, guided her minute-by-minute as she turned around and made her way back to Highway 25. They hung up when she was safely back on the right road.

Now watch her miss the FREAKING INTERSTATE.

***************************************

UPDATE

They made it. FINALLY.

The "check engine" light had come on when they were still in the boonies, so this morning I drove Mama to @utozone for a battery check. The nice feller removed the about-to-depart and installed a spankin' new 7-year battery, so I feel much better about the van. As for the matter of my mother's driving skills, that's a whole other subject. If you see her coming, GET OUT OF HER WAY or prepare to be mown down. I should have asked if the @utozone guy could install some sort of speed governor right along with the new battery. I need peace of mind.

She and S.O. are true-to-form this morning. I witnessed the Olympian event known as putting on pantyhose, and afterwards her wandering around the room looking for her girdle. Until I informed her she was already wearing it.

Mrs. Guru called while Mama and I were at @utozone. S.O. couldn't find the phone. Perhaps that's because it was ON THE RECEIVER that he was standing RIGHT NEXT TO. And no, as I suspected, he didn't bring his hearing aids.

I have a headache. Stress.

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