We Be Cultured
2005-04-07, 11:35 a.m.

OKAY okay I�ll give The Little Prince another chance, but in literary form only, because last night�s singing dude in the banana yellow fuzzy suit and kewpie hairdo just didn�t do it for me. Or maybe it�s because PMS and PBS don�t mix.

I attended a private college-prep school for 13 years, Kindergarten on up, where we were exposed heartily to classic-y stuff early and often. Much of it was good indeed, but some things were So. Darn. Depressing. or just reeked according to kidology. I did enjoy Shakespeare. And poor Tess? We had an uber-cool literature teacher who let us take the all symbolism and elevate it to basic porn. Fun times. I watched Tess Of The D�Urbervilles on tv the other day and found myself screaming at the actress to just kick the guy in the family jewels and then stomp his ass. Once again, Tess didn�t listen. Tess, Tess, Tess.

And in school we studied Hemingway and we had a teacher obsessed with Papa and we read every freaking thing he ever wrote and we had to diagram sentences inspired by his works and they were things like �The bull gored the horse� and I learned long ago that Hemingway was apparently allergic to commas and other forms of punctuation and was OCD about the word �and�.

You know what makes Jane Eyre better? Orson Welles. Yes I have watched the movie about a bazillion times, and there�s something about That Voice that once you see the old movie, you forevermore hear Orson Welles� narration, minus the �sell no wine before it�s time� bit. Kind of like reading Tolkien with Elijah Wood permanently etched into hobbitdom. Not always a bad thing.

Now that I�m all cultured and sh*t, on to more pressing matters.

Today�s good news/bad news:
Bad news: We don�t own the property all the way up to the creek next to our house.
Good news: We don�t own the property all the way up to the creek next to our house.

Bad because the people building the mansion aka 5,000 square foot house next door own it, and they are going to clear most of it out. Good because THEY get to maintain it. They are keeping all the trees and will be planting more, things like birches and weeping willows. However, I fear that removing some of the brush will cause the banks to erode just like they have for every other fool on the street who thought manicured landscaping clear up to the edge was a good thing. The subdivision is called �Br0wns Creek� but we�re the only ones who live on �Br0wns Creek� instead of �Browns Ditch�.

Hubby and I had glorious plans to rebuild the kids� overlumbered fortress/swingset thingy right next to the creek, nestled in a couple of particularly large trees. That would make it encroach about a foot or two upon the neighbors� property. Thankfully, they are very nice people and said it would be no problem, so plans are go. We will tend to the property upkeep in that area.

Sally�s Bad Choice Of The Day: Have a minor long distance tiff with Hubby, zip off a nastygram, and then listen to �Full of Gr@ce� by Sarah McL@chlan.

Sally�s Fun But Lame Observation Of The Day: �H@ir� by The Cowsills* bounces back and forth between the speakers and is an awful lot of fun in surround sound.

Sally�s Tune Of The Day: �Come On *Eileen� by Dexy*s Midnight *Runners. Too-Ra-Loo-Rye-Tootle-oo for now.

*****************

I just HAD to pop back on with this.

"'Star Wars' fans will have to find the right theater before they can leave for the dark side. Seven weeks before its release, "Star Wars" fanatics started lining up outside Grauman's Chinese Theater for the sixth installment of the popular George Lucas movie series. The vigil began Saturday."

People. The movie begins May 19th (which is our 15th wedding anniversary, what better way to spend it?), which is seven weeks away like the article says.

Seven.

Weeks.

People are lining up at the theater for a release that is seven weeks away.

WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY GOING TO DO FOR SEVEN WEEKS? Stick a little sign claiming squatter's rights and go on about their business? It's a movie. Mooooo-vieeeeeeeee. Fiiiiiiiiic-tion. Geez, my life is pathetic enough at times, but this is absolutely mind-boggling. If I'm going to wait outside a theater for seven weeks for a movie release, Ew@n M@cGregor better be catering all my meals and H@rrison Ford moving into my campsite, that's all I'm saying. Yoda teaching me to use the Force to levitate me to first-in-line status.

Second to that pile o' loon is, on the all-holy SW official website, I have to pay $39.95 in order to see the trailer in extra-large size. I could buy a generous chunk of movie tickets for $39.95. The medium-size FREE trailer will do just fine, thankyouverymuch.

last - next