The Day 10 Update
2005-04-26, 12:38 p.m.

Hmmm. Suppose I should update. Been 10 days ALREADY? Geez.

Up to, up to, what have I been up to? Kinda hard to say�lots of stuff yet nothing at all. I feel busy yet strangely unproductive, as I�ve been doing some neat things but not what truly NEEDS to be done. Therefore, stinky laundry is evolving into a new life force in the hall, but Son has spiffy new border in his bedroom. Priorities, priorities. Maybe no one will notice the aroma of wearing week-old jeans, because hey, my kid now has a BORDER up in his room!

Yes, I decided to install Bitch Border in my child�s room. The border is very attractive, but is comprised of antique hunting magazine covers at various angles, and there is NO STRAIGHT EDGE WHATSOEVER to it. No reference point. Bitch border it is. I had to envision a straight line running through the center for orientation. Combine that with the fact that a ceiling line is NEVER plumb. Bitch border. Bitch border looks good, though.

Not only did I paste 5,000 running feet of oddly angled paper, I procured (hey, it�s legal) samples�BIG samples� of coordinating wallpaper, cut out Son�s name in large letters, and pasted them on the wall over his top bunk. It turned out Really Cool, but I can�t show you because then you would all know his name and would hunt us down and kidnap him because he is so freaking cute. My crafty coolness is squashed by the necessity of anonymity. Kind of like the Bat Cave. Heh.

My identity is revealed in the current issue of Atomic R@nch magazine. I won�t tell you where, or how, or why, only that I got paid almost as much as I do for posting on D-land, and if you get the magazine, it will be like a treasure hunt. It�s that whole superhero identity thing, except that I�m not really a superhero. Really. I just play one in my own little mind. If you think you have found me, email me. I might have to come up with a prize or something. Better yet, you can be my sidekick and together we can go hunting for a lair (preferably mid-century modern) and gadgets and all.

Saw a snippet on the news this morning about an unruly kindergartener who was handcuffed to bring him under control in the school office. Maybe a bit heavy-handed, so I have a much better solution: school uniforms should be mandatory and made of Velcro. School walls should be covered in coordinating material. Kid gets out of hand, stick him to the wall. Problem solved. As far as the parents go, tasers work well. �MY little Johnny would NEVER repeatedly assault other children, he�s being picked on by the dastardly tea�� *ZOT* What was that again, ma�am? Your kid is a bloody menace whom you refuse to discipline? You�ll take care of it right away? Thank you for attending this conference. As soon as the paralysis abates, you are free to go.

Hubby and I spent a couple hours at the bookstore the other night. I read F@ngoria twice, in the process ran a shy teenage boy away from the copy of M@xim that had him in a lather in the corner, picked up, put back, picked up, put back, picked up, put back an overpriced Anne McC@ffrey novel, and finally settled on a couple of home decorating magazines. Hubby stuck to all things mathematical and bought, for a little pleasure reading, the Cl*ff�s Notes Guide to Calculus. Somewhere there is a higher calculation for laundry, like E(L)=HAMPER with E being Effort and L being Laundry, and if I slide that into his new book he just might grasp the concept. I must enter his territory, coax the geek out of his natural habitat, and teach him some new tricks.

One magazine I bought had me all hot and bothered over some NIFTY wall stickers that were gorgeous and I MUST have them for the hall near the laundry room and I typed in their website address they announced from the rooftops and when I clicked on �designs� the screen proclaimed UNDER CONSTRUCTION: COMING SOON. CALL THE STUDIO FOR DESIGNS AND PRICES.

Call the studio. In Britain.

*Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffttttttttttttttttttttt*

The laundry just walked in and threatened to take me hostage, better wrap this up for now.

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Oh, how can I update and fail to mention how we did NOT spend a fun-filled weekend seeing GroovyGuru at the reenactment at Cumberland Gap? There's something about 64 mph wind gusts, rain, and freezing temps that just aren't that inspiring for a weekend outdoors, no matter how enticing the actual event seems. On a good note, this time he did not get himself shot or hung for some infraction, for which we are mighty proud, and it makes for good conversation to talk to people (who have NO IDEA about Civil War reenactments) and tell them how happy we are that our good friend did not get executed this past weekend. Jolly times, people, jolly times.

Thunderstorms are brewing up clouds and a migraine, which I must be off to battle. Hope everyone has a fabulous day!

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