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A Quiet Little 4th of July There�s something about men and fire. Maybe it�s the whole �run with scissors, cook with danger� thing. Hubby prefers a gas grill. He converted our grill and connected it to the gas line to the house. Cook those steaks to perfection and keep the house from going FOOM? Hoo YEAH, baby. Getting ready for the pig pickin� was proving to be a challenge. GroovyGuru borrowed an electric welder and Hubby installed the proper outlet and breaker, only to find that the electric one wasn�t nearly powerful enough to weld the expanded steel mesh for the grill grate. July 3rd, 11th hour, Hubby rented a huge gas-powered arc welder, and he and the Guru tested their introductory welding skills by running with the big boys. It worked, and we have two nice grates for the fire pit. Yes, the man who just fell through his friends� ceiling while wiring and barely escaped serious injury, who has never welded before, got to play with a large gas-powered arc welder, without instructions or proper supervision. (Other arson-friendly boys in the garage don�t count. Because how did GroovyGuru gear up for the 4th? By melting plastic army men on HIS grill.) And they both did nicely. MY life is a few decades shorter, but I digress... So the fire pit was ready, and I had spent weeks finding out the perfect way to roast a hog. Every person I asked, every site I searched, said the same thing...low and slow. Few coals, long roasting time. Three to five pounds charcoal, max. Hubby asked around, got the same advice. But this is a fire pit. MAN. FIRE. MEAT. We rolled out of bed before 4am on the 4th and Hubby went outside to start the coals. I moseyed out to see just before 5am and really shouldn�t have been surprised. Few coals? Low and slow? No, this is MAN COOKING.
Captain's Log, Stardate 070402006 After a few minutes, during which time Hubby was forced to look at hog-roasting instructional websites, I got a response from GroovyGuru. Admirals log, Stardate supplimental, He dropped by on his way home from work just after 8am to be sure that Friends began arriving, laden with food, food, and yet more food around 3-ish, the hog was roasted to perfection soon thereafter, and all the menfolk got to earn their keep pulling the meat in the July afternoon heat. But even with Hubby�s �I-wanna-be-a-pyro-when-I-grow-up� start, the tarp going up in a blaze of glory the second he covered the pit halfway through cooking, his improvisory cover with leftover treehouse roofing tin (nevermind that tar, we�ll just slide that piece over a bit)... And the poor boy was �bout too worn out to eat it. But catch a little shuteye? HECK no...there were kids on the loose, kids with army men to blow up and a big ol� bag of fire crackers. Fire crackers with short fuses. Little boys who had been waiting all day to melt and explode things for the pure sake of blowing shit up. Wonder where they got that from. GroovyGuru chased the kids around the yard with the hog�s head, the kids blew stuff up, everybody ate themselves silly, the kids blew more stuff up, everybody packed up food to take home, the kids blew up still more crap, we foisted our children off on a couple of Yeah, I think we�ll do this again. | |