A Story and a Tangent
2004-10-16, 10:56 a.m.

Anti-Bush Thong Protest Charges Dropped

Oct 15, 3:11 PM (ET)

By MARK SCOLFORO

HARRISBURG, Pa. (AP) - Prosecutors dropped the charges Friday against six men arrested for protesting the Abu Ghraib prison-abuse scandal by stripping down to their thong underwear and forming a human pyramid during a visit by President Bush.
Lancaster County District Attorney Donald R. Totaro said prosecutors would not have been able to prove the defendants' actions served "no legitimate purpose" - a requirement under the state's disorderly conduct law.
"The mere presence of unwilling viewers does not determine whether unwelcome views are prohibited from public forums," he said.
He said that pressing charges "would only serve to advance the agenda of six protesters through a very public forum."
American Civil Liberties Union attorney Paula Knudsen, who represented one of the defendants, said: "We're pleased that the charges have been withdrawn and that the district attorney recognized the importance of the First Amendment values at stake."
The men, ages 18 to 32, were arrested along the motorcade route during a July 9 visit by Bush to an elementary school in Amish country, about an hour west of Philadelphia. They were recreating an image from photos taken inside the prison near Baghdad in which Iraqi prisoners were abused by U.S. captors.
Knudsen said East Lampeter Township Police violated the defendants' constitutional right to free speech.
If convicted, the men could have received up to 90 days in jail and a $300 fine.

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OK, I�m all for free speech and the right to protest whatever gets your panties in a wad and all that, but let me go off on a slight tangent here:

So we�re exposed every summer to thousand of examples of just-because-it-comes-in-your-size-doesn�t-mean-you-should-wear-it horrors, and suddenly six guys in Speedos are a legal issue? I take this as my call to make citizen�s arrests at whim. Start building the jails. Belly rolls of baby fat flopping over your low rise pants and out from under your baby doll tee? Pants around your thighs and pooling around your hippity-hoppity ankles because you think we REALLY want to gaze at your unfabulous drawers? The old guy I see at Home Depot with the unspeakably bad Elvis toupee? You�re BUSTED, baby, BUSTED. No hairy fleshy sweaty pyramid required. If I can get you off the street for even five minutes, I�ve done my job to save the planet.

I feel so empowered. I would go join NOW, except I happen to like my bra and shave my armpits on a daily basis. And chivalry, I also like chivalry. Hold the door open for me, you jerk. I�m a girl. Just do it.

Feminists across the globe are cringing, and I don�t give a rat�s @ss. More manners, more taste, more depilatories, and less thongs is what the world needs, I say. If we're going to save the President from unwelcome views, we need to protect him from ALL of them. We need to protect all citizens as well. Just doing my part as a patriotic American.

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