A Seriously Highbrowed Cultural Wednesday
2004-10-20, 5:50 p.m.

Well, hello again.

Not much to write about and no mental prowess with which to write yesterday. (No comments from the peanut gallery, thankyouverymuch. Left that door wiiiide open, didn�t I?) It�s been another day and a half of weather induced cranium-splitting, passing out, praying-to-puke-and-get-it-OVER-WITH migraine fun. The front seems to have shuffled on through yesterday, at last leaving me feeling somewhat like a humanoid life form, albeit one that�s been run over by a singularly large truck.

I�ve been trying to wrap my mind around the idea of the movie version of The Hitchhiker�s Guide To The Galaxy. You know, the one out next year starring an approvingly regular British guy as Arthur and a New York hip hop artist/actor as Ford Prefect. Um, yeah. Not exactly how I, or most likely ANYONE ELSE IN THIS OR ANY OTHER GALAXY pictured Ford Prefect (New York? New York?), but I�m open. I�m open. I�m more open than Hubby, whose first comment was �Well they�re going to screw that one up, aren�t they?� when hearing that a movie was being made. Really, a generous portion of the fun lies squarely in Douglas Adams� ingenious prose. How can you capture such perfection on film like �The ships hung in the sky in much the way that bricks don�t�? You cannot. Yeah yeah yeah there was a great radio program (that they are also redoing with most of the original cast, btw) and a tv series that captured The Power Of Cheese, but we�re talking big screen now, people. Brought to you in amazing Technicolor. Somehow, I have not been able to mentally blend Arthur Dent and Slartibartfast and Dolby Surround Sound and CGI. We shall see.

The Cheese Wheels have been rolling mightily today, because what else did I encounter but a cheep cheep DVD of Batman. The one where Penguin, Riddler, Joker, and Catwoman dehydrate a room full of world leaders and it�s up to the Caped Crusaders to save the day. Holy Two Weeks To Payday, Batman, we can spare $5.88, can�t we? Yes, Boy Wonder, we can. And we did. Hey, it�s my job as parent to expose my kids to culture, right? They�ve been to museums and zoos and on airplanes and in libraries. On to the GOOD stuff.

I found said DVD today while on a recon mission with Mrs. Guru. She found a chaise lounge that perfectly matched their sofa. Now this family demonstrates thrift�patience, endless scouting, and waiting for the perfect deal, for EVERYTHING. Mrs. Guru intended to put the chaise on layaway, but this was one of those one-time-only deals that the store couldn�t (or wouldn�t) put on layaway. Grab it now or it�s gone forever. So grab it she did, filling out the receipt while I patrolled the perimeter for signs of Husbands Who Do Not Understand Interior Decorating. She was so nervous she filled out the receipt using her maiden name, no doubt subconsciously preparing herself for the instant divorce that would be granted when she hauled the new purchase home. GroovyGuru was asleep when we shuttled it inside, as he works nights, and she had it suitably camouflaged with Jeb-da-dawg-worthy blankets and throws within the first 30 seconds. I offered to procure a means of distraction for when Guru awoke, a Pepsi and a pie. Perhaps then he wouldn�t notice the sudden presence of a new large piece of furniture in their living room. �Mmmmmmmmm, PIE, mmmmmmmmm, big new piece of furniture, mmmmmmmmm, PIE.� She decided to take her chances sans bribe. It�s been strangely quiet in town this afternoon. I tried to call over there, but no answer. So either he likes it, or he�s burying her in the backyard right about now. I shoulda got the pie.

By the way, check out GroovyGuru�s latest for mug shots of Guru Jr and Guru III looking all Hallowe�enie. Guru did a great job on the costumes, right down to plastering a huge backyard bouncy ball with papier mache to make a diving helmet. Time for Sally to get a move on making explorer fare for Son�s turn as Pitfall Harry. All I lack for Daughter�s black cattiness is an appropriate (read: cheap) treat bag. The stores are all sold out of black gift bags. I�ll keep hunting. It�s this thrill of the hunt that justifies me burning 200 hours and $97.48 in gas to find a suitable treat bag under a buck fifty. Humor me.

I must share with you that which absolutely made my day, er, week. Scholars, rejoice, for the source of all knowledge is at hand at the University of Kansas� Godzilla Conference. My new mantra, courtesy of author and conference presenter Bill Tsutsui: "I would like people to take Godzilla more seriously." (Coming soon to a bumper sticker near you.) Really, as most folk don�t take Godzilla seriously unless his scaly flinty kickass self is demolishing their city in a spectacular throwdown with Mothra (or whomever is in the rubber suit this time), I am all for fostering respect for the big guy. Who else could ruin Tokyo�s sh*t repeatedly and still be adored by millions? Get thee here to sign up, quick, before Toyko gets stomped. Again.

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