Parenting Skills On Public Display
2004-09-16, 1:58 p.m.

Well, Son did it last night. Frustrated a volunteer church youth group leader darn near the point of retirement, on Day 2 of leading the group. That�s my kid�he doesn�t waste much time getting down to business.

I had intended to go home right after supper, but Daughter reeled me in with tales of all the Fabulous Fun Activities planned for the following hour. Although I was coasting on the leading edge of a migraine, I caved and we stayed. Daughter met me after class with a demand from the youth leader for a conference. Utto. NOT a good sign when the embattled volunteer needs to see you asap regarding your child�s behavior.

Basically, Son did as Son will do, which is totally not act his age and disrupt the entire group. He stood looking at me with his little nose wrinkled up and said it wasn�t his fault he couldn�t control himself. He said this in front of the leader, which I�m sure did wonders in her eyes for my parenting skills. When in doubt, blame someone else for your actions�oh yeah, that�s a mantra I have them chant nightly, right between brushing their teeth and saying bedtime prayers. That�s the ticket. Thanks, Son.

(My head is pounding. My eyes are puffing. The environment is lurching sideways. I oh-so-don�t-need-this-right-now.)

�But the YOUNGER kids got to watch Veggie Tales and play instead of doing boring big kid stuff.� Aha. That�s his method. When bored, act like you are a reject from the monkey pen until you get injected into a setting more to your liking. It�s true that Son gets along far better with either much younger children, or with teens, and isn�t up to social par with those of his own age or grade. Alas, I had high hopes that he could assimilate into this year�s pack of ravenous preteens. No such luck. The end result is that he (and I) apologized profusely to the Fearless Leader (you gotta be, to work with that age group), and next week he will be placed with the younger kids. He is also grounded for today from his beloved video games, because he DOES have the knowledge of self-control, as well as responsibility for his actions and choices. Act like a yard ape? No more Donkey Kong. An ape for an ape.

Between Son and the imminent arrival of Ivan, the rest of the evening was spent enjoying a rollicking round of double vision, vertigo, aphasia, and semi-consciousness, with Hubby occasionally inquiring if I needed him to take me to the hospital before he got on the computer to play chess. No thanks, I�ll just languish in the living room. He did slap an ice pack on me and reveled in his incredible health care skills. Thank you, Marcus Welby. With aid like that, perhaps I shall make it to 40 after all.

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