Really Sick, or Friday-itis?
2004-11-20, 10:45 a.m.

How To Tell When Your Child Is Sick:

1. He puts himself to bed at 6pm.
2. He doesn�t demand waffles...or anything else� for breakfast the next morning.
3. There is a conjunction of the anomalies �Quiet� and �Still�.
4. He refuses to play video games and falls asleep. Again.
5. The quiet/still alignment progresses although he hasn�t had any medication.
6. The quiet/still alignment continues and there�s no sign of the impending Rapture.
7. It�s Friday, he�s home from school, and there is no Miraculous Recovery at 8:05 am.
8. You remind him if he�s sick, he can�t see the Spongebob movie, and he says �Okay.�
9. It�s Friday, he�s home from school, and he sleeps until 2pm.
10. You could fry bacon on his skin.
11. You take him to the doctor and they refer you to Children�s Hospital.

It began with a low-grade temp (99) on Thursday evening. By Friday afternoon he had a 102 degree fever with �classic� symptoms of meningitis�bad headache, neck pain, sensitivity to light. Our pediatrician consulted with another at Children�s Hospital in Knoxville, and sent us on for a lumbar puncture, the only true way to check for meningitis.

Son did surprisingly well for having a 4-inch needle inserted into his back.

Thanks to the miracle of Christmas shopping, Mom just *happened* to have in the trunk the video game he has been wanting for months. During the entire procedure we kept him guessing as to the nature of his �really big stupendous colossal monumental surprise� that awaited him at the end. When the needle was finally removed, he was elated to find that his bravery had elicited the presentation of Warioworld. An hour later, all tests came back negative for meningitis, he was diagnosed with the advanced medical terminology of a �bug� which would run its course in a day or two, and we were free to go.

When we got home, he ate two slices of the pizza Dad had ready for him, left his precious new video game on the kitchen table, and went to bed. He popped up this morning with his typical babble and banter, game in hand, waffle demands, and nary a degree of fever. Go figure.

The Spongebob movie matinee is at 4:50 today. Color one happy little boy there, along with the rest of us and the Family Guru. It�s a good day.

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