Nothing of interest on a Wednesday
2005-06-01, 10:31 a.m.

So what�s all the hoo-hah over cell phones with cameras? Do they really take halfway decent photos? Because cheapass here is almost ready get one, if they�re worth it. I could park my butt and chisel out a lithograph faster than my craptastic digital camera can capture a decent image. I paid $700 for that contraption back in the days when cameras were first invented, the dark realm of the 90�s ya know, but all it does is eat batteries and spit out the occasional underlit shot. It�s still a comforting familiarity knowing that I can beat the device senseless and make it choke out a photo, versus the sensation that with a camera phone, far too many friends are going to have conversations with my nostrils. I need non-nostril assurance before I invest.

Did you know that Word has �hoo-hah� in spell check? �Cuz it does. Two different ways, at that.

Having an almost-teen is not as hard as I thought it would be. Seems there is a direct ratio between the smart-mouth volume and the need for sleep. If I can hum loudly enough and tune her out for an hour, she will reward me with sleeping until mid-afternoon. Good trade. Her ranty bits don�t last very long, and for most of her waking time she�s rather pleasant, provided she�s getting her way. Her way means either going out to play or watching movies; I�m happy to be an indulgent mother.

Son was banned from a sorta fun math activity at school. They had to play a money game, earn moola, and then they could participate in a classroom auction. Son refused to play the money game when he wasn�t allowed to cheat. We had dialogues about honesty and fairness and being a good sport and you can�t win all the time, all of which were lost on him, because loot was at stake. Dear God, I�m raising a supervillain.

This weekend we�re heading to SC to see Mama and her fianc�e and are bringing the GroovyGuru with us to pick up a car. He and the missus are buying my dad�s car, the one my mother has held onto for lord knows what. It�s a zippy little car, a F0rd Tempo, plain but runs great. It is not tan, no, officially it is �alabaster�. Now, my mother can fracture the simplest of words, alabaster being one of them, so since 1990 the car has been a nice shade of �alzabastard�. My father�s name was Al. *insert fun*

We also get my mother to say �Hawaii� (Huh-WAH-yuh) as often as possible, to which we respond �I�m fine, HAHwah you?� It annoys her, which makes us do it even more. Fancy that.

It�s our week to tend to the #$^%&*!@ Grrrrrl Skout garden, and glory be! It�s raining, and rain is forecast all week. All my dancing around and sprinkling chicken blood and chanting paid off. If only it would work on my range�DIE appliances, DIE before December when the home warranty expires. Hey, it�s worth a shot.

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