Legal Eagles
2006-03-30, 8:30 a.m.

First, read this:

MEMPHIS, Tenn. (AP) - A University of Memphis law professor has banned laptop computers from her classroom and her students are passing a petition against it.
Professor June Entman says her main concern is that students are so busy keyboarding they can't think and analyze what she's telling them.
Students have begun collecting signatures on petitions and tried unsuccessfully to file a complaint with the American Bar Association.
Student Cory Winsett says if he must continue without his laptop, he'll transfer to another school. Winsett says he won't be able to keep up if he has to rely on hand-written notes, which he says are incomplete and less organized.

I, too, would like to petition Professor Entman, but for a copy of the petition being circulated against her policy, so that I will know what morons to avoid should I ever need a lawyer in the future.

Back in the Dark Ages of, say, the late 80�s, when young squirts such as myself were in college and computerless, somehow we managed to do such novel things as LISTEN to our professors and ABBREVIATE words in notes and if we truly couldn�t keep up, then there were these nifty little devices called mini-recorders. The recorders themselves were a technological leap from the millions of poor slobs who somehow slogged their way through college for hundreds of years prior. Let us not forget the low-tech standbys like asking the professor or a fellow student for copies of notes, or organizing group study sessions, or even�GASP�reading the textbook! But today, poor Cory and a gaggle of other spoiled little ingrates cannot find their way to their food dish without the assistance of a laptop, and HOWEVER CAN THEY LEARN if their incessant keyboard tapping isn�t drowning out everything their professor has to say? So Cory, you and your cronies need to do society a great favor: Leave college to those who can hack it, and find something more suitable for your abilities and attention spans. Not to worry�the computers will remind you whether or not I wanted fries with that.

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