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2004-08-18, 1:36 p.m.

Yesterday's front page was awash with news of the supposed discovery of a ceremonial cave used by John the Baptist. Cool beans. I enjoy perusing archaeological findings and am thrilled when they have Biblical connections, but there is one thing that puzzles me about this one. It's from the following quote from the article:

"Gibson said the carvings, the foot washing stone and other finds, taken together with the proximity of John's hometown, constituted strong circumstantial evidence that the cave was used by John.

John, a contemporary of Jesus who also preached a message of redemption, is one of the most important figures in Christianity. The discovery, if confirmed, would be among the most significant breakthroughs for biblical scholars in memory."

So how exactly DOES one confirm such a finding? Give John a quick ring to check it out?

Archaelolgists: *dial*

Heaven's switchboard: "Thank you for calling Heaven. If you know the number for your party's extension, please dial it now. Otherwise, please remain on the line, and the next available operator will assist you."

Archaeologists: *dial newly-unearthed extension number*

John The Baptist: "Hello, this is John. How may I help you?"

Archaeologists: "Hi John, we've just spent the last 5 years cleaning up your place, and we just wanted to be sure it WAS your place, in case we spent those years seriously wasting our time."

John The Baptist: "Hey man, thanks! Yeah, that was mine. I hated sweeping. I owe you guys! I'll drop down a few more pottery shards for you to underpay grad students to piece together."

Archaeologists: "Great! Bye!"

If only.

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