What Rhymes With Wednesday?
2005-08-10, 6:26 p.m.

With two entries today, I was going to entitle this something completely original and clever like �Two For Tuesday�, only it�s Wednesday, and there isn�t much alliteration for Wednesday that hasn�t already been overdone.

Here I thought amomsmusings and I married clones, but alicewonder�s fella has now stepped into the mix, invoking one of the laws of physics that states if it is sensible, practical, and/or obvious, a husband will be oblivious to it and argue about it for the entire duration of the marriage, otherwise known as the Dictum Of The Four Or Five Same Arguments Over And Over.

There is the subheading of �If You Upset Her, You Will Chase After Her And Hold Her To Make Her Feel Better Because That�s What Girls Need�, which is also generally ignored. Hers did. Mine does. They never learn.

Page 52, Subarticle B also states that �If a man speaks, and a female hears it, said comments are heretofore carved in stone, descended from Mount Sinai, embedded in the chromosomes of every female in existence who can recall the exact phrase at any given moment, and will be used against you.� It has been so since the Dawn of Time, and guys just haven�t gotten it yet.

Take Monday night, for example:

The opportunity arose for me to purchase a plane ticket to meet friends with whom I have been conversing for nine years, NINE YEARS, a chance to have a real, honest-to-God mini-vacation and meet some of my closet friends on the Planet Earth. Every year, Hubby and several male cronies spend several days deep sea fishing. His fishing weekend will coincide with my trip, my first trip EVER. My mother will watch the kids, no problem. His problem? Spending money on plane ticket. His reason? He WORKS for a living and he PLANNED and SAVED for HIS trip, because HE WORKS.

Enter the ninja.

Exit with the plane ticket.

And this was just two days after another major foot insertion, where he ranted about my buying habits. Heaven forbid, I had just bought school supplies (like the rare and increasingly expensive notebook paper) and groceries and generally throwing his money around willy-nilly. In a cost-cutting and environmentally friendly gesture, I announced I would no longer purchase such frills as toilet paper, and the next time he ran out whilst perched on the throne, he could just use his hands to wipe, as they are washable and reusable and think of the money we would save! He got the point.

But points have a short shelf life in the male of the species.

Apology accepted, noted, and infraction filed away for future reference.

So, very soon, he will walk into his spotless house and greet his clean, intelligent, say-no-to-drugs children, change his clothes in his clean-laundry-stocked closet and munch his dinner and revel that the bills are paid and he has no errands to run and nothing to do in the evening except relax, but it will be devalued by the fact that no one gave me a frickin� paycheck.

Enter the ninja.

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