A Hairy Tale
2005-09-24, 9:21 a.m.

So Daughter and I went to get our hair done yesterday. I got a wild hair (har har) and decided to do some color. I do not color my hair. I�ve had highlights, to disastrous effect, and have schlepped around with the uncolor bestowed upon me. All my life I had red hair, until Son was born�within weeks my hair turned a nondescript brown. I want my red back.

I showed an old photo to the stylist/salon owner�the very pregnant, hungry, weary girl�and we chose a color we thought closest to the shade I�m supposed to be. I warned her that hair color takes very quickly and turns very light in my fine, porous locks. She said that can happen with highlights, but not generally with allover color.

Half an hour later, I was orange. GO VOLS orange. There are lights on my computer in the same shade. I could have made a mint with a few balloons working kids� parties.

Nonononononononononononononono.

Late afternoon, she�s exhausted, I�m hungry, not worth badgering over. I love the way she cuts hair. I like the color she�s done on other people. It wasn�t entirely her fault that my afflicted tresses tried to channel Bozo. So we went home, I scarfed down a sandwich, and ran to my favorite refuge, Tar-zhay, for a box of hair color Because I�m Worth It.

�Light Reddish Brown�, it said.

I am a very Goth-y auburn.

Hubby likes it. I like it. I feel like Jezebel. I can be all edgy and dangerous and mysterious while pouring the kids some Frosted Flakes.

That�s me, living on the ragged edge of disaster. Fear me.

last - next