Boys and Boo Boos
2005-09-26, 12:03 a.m.

A month ago, Son had a physical. The doctor noted two tiny bumps on his lower left leg, which she examined and said they both appeared to be little warts. In time they will disappear. No biggie. Typically, they are covered by his socks. He�s old enough to take a shower by himself and dress in private. There aren�t many opportunities for Mommy to check him over. So it wasn�t until tonight, after his shower, that Son hobbled in to point out that one bump was not a wart, but obviously something big and red and infected. It hurt. But more than that, he was scared, in that little boy I�ve-never-had-an-owie-like-this kind of scared. I took him into our bathroom to clean it and cover it with antibiotic ointment.

Enter Hubby.

99.9999% of the time, Hubby is a brilliant, capable, helpful, mature, marvelous human being. But there�s always that 0.0001%. Hubby believes that arming yourself with information is a good thing. It can be. It can also NOT be, when you are dealing with a little boy with a big scary boo-boo, a little boy whose autistic tendencies cause him to latch on to scraps of information and retain them on a cellular level.

I told Son that yes, it looked infected, maybe something called a staph infection, but Mommy was putting medicine and a bandaid on it and it would be ok. I will check it in the morning and if it�s not better, I�ll take him to the doctor for some medicine.

�Son,� Hubby chimed in with words of wisdom, �that kind of bacteria can cause flesh eating disease...�

I did the nanosecond prayer of �Dear God, please strike the moron mute, or else forgive me for the manslaughter which he is about to receive. Amen,� and then called Hubby by name in That Tone, that universally recognized timbre which says Shut The Hell Up Or I Will Kill You With My Bare Hands.

He got the clue. He shut up.

Initiate Damage Control Sequence.

I immediately told Son that no, he just had a little infected bump and the medicine would make it all better and if he needed it, the doctor would give him some antibiotic pills to swallow. That�s all. He took the bait and became more interested in whether or not getting a doctor�s appointment would allow him to miss a full day of school.

One more syllable and Hubby would have been the one needing a doctor�s appointment. Or an ambulance.

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